There may or may not be a method to this madness.

phantom-mizero asked: In the Do Good Fellowship there is most definitely a meme now whenever Nadiya is roasting/dragging someone someone (probably Remy) starts playing Walking on Sunshine as the background music.

blue-mood-blue:

Just imagine. One of the new employees who was there and saw the whole thing hears the distant echo of music from down the hall. It’s “Walking on Sunshine” and it’s coming from Nadiya’s department. They immediately turn around and start walking quickly in the other direction; it doesn’t matter what they were going there to do, it’s not worth the risk. No one on the base wants to encounter Nadiya while she’s dragging someone because they are almost certainly going to be next.

Nadiya is not dragging anyone. Nadiya is happily working in her lab while her new favorite song plays. She allowed Remy to continue with his joke long enough to condition most of the base to associate the song with terror, and now she has an effective deterrent when she wants to be left alone.

Nadiya can admit, in hindsight, that Remy does have his occasional uses.

pitbullmabari:

timeforlupsopinion:

americanbeautiies:

timeforlupsopinion:

Taako goes to some fantasy university in neverwinter and says ‘can i get a phd? I don’t want to write an essay but i did just save the world soooooooooo….’

And they’re like um no you have to write a dissertation? So taako’s like fuck it i’ll start my OWN university where saving the world is grounds for getting a phd. Hey hi it’s me ur friend dr taako

barry shows up after getting a phd from an actual university with the most smug face ever like “u made the rules taako gimme that 2nd phd” and taako doesn’t speak to him for a week

Omg dr dr bluejeans

i dont know anything about taz but im hcing that it takes place in the same universe as discworld and this is how unseen university was founded

(via dog-of-ulthar)

apostatively:

Just imagining Lup taking it upon herself to publish Taako and Kravitz’s wedding announcement in the fantasy newspapers and wording the whole thing as an obituary.

“Taako (from TV) the Wizard has succumbed to the sweet embrace of the Grim Reaper. He is preceded in death by his sister Lup Bluejeans and her husband Barold. There were no survivors. Services will be held on [X Date] at 4:00 PM, visitation to follow. BYOB.”

A flattering yet somber picture of the happy couple accompanies the article. Ren’s office is flooded with panicked inquiries. Nothing published is technically untrue. Lup has out-gothed herself. Barry rushes in for a high-five.

(via taibhsearachd)

sunsetconcert:

I imagine before he got to know them, Kravitz absolutely HATED the IPRE crew. Like, the dude is competent, but the guys have a habit of completely humiliating anybody they end up fighting.

Let’s rewind a few years. Kravitz is doing his thing. Kicking ass, reaping souls and killing liches. Heads back to his office in the Astral Plane (because i refuse to believe that the afterlife is anything but a stupidly complicated bureaucracy) and checks in on his current list of bounties.

There’s the usual list of necromancers, immortals, escapees from the stockade and users of profane rituals, you know the types, the guys who have the twelve syllable names and such. But there are seven new people he needs to hunt down. And all of them have died at least eight times. You hear that? It’s the sound of Kravitz getting paid.

So who does he go after first?

Merle Highchurch, fifty-seven deaths. God. So much reward. Kravitz hunts anybody by the name of Highchurch down, but nobody has any clues as to where the guy is. Kravitz heads back to the office and checks out all the information he has on the guy. And surprise surprise, he’s a follower of the god of bloody travelers. Krav could hunt down this guy for the better part of a decade, and he’d only find the guy by luck. Great. Wonderful. Fine. He has six other bounties to check out.

Magnus Burnsides, nineteen deaths. Okay, so Magnus is MUCH easier to find than Merle, if only because Magnus announces his name to anybody who asks. Lives in somewhere called Raven’s Roost. He’d been there a few times, not a bad place. So Kravitz heads over there. And great, the entire bloody town is on FIRE and the populace is DEAD. As a reaper, he’s legally required to take care of wandering souls he finds wandering around. So he has to take a good month or so wrangling a good 600 people into the afterlife. Much to his surprise, Magnus has a wife who recently died. The woman stares at him for a moment before laughing, because apparently Magnus can get lost in a goddamn hallway and it would take a goddamn miracle for Kravitz to track him down. Goddamn it.

Taako Taaco, eight deaths. Taako is, unlike the others, a complete goddamn ghost. The most he can gather is that the guy is a wizard and an elf and that is generally it. It is by pure luck he’s assigned to the Glamour Springs case, and hears about Taako Sizzles It Up. Okay, THAT is easier to track he thinks. Except Taako apparently did a show in literally EVERY TOWN in the world at some point and is charismatic enough that nobody is willing to tell him much of anything. And then, like both Magnus and Merle, he has apparently vanished into the mist and NOBODY KNOWS WHERE HE IS GODDAMN IT.

Lup Taaco, twelve deaths. Kravitz is not surprised that Lup is related to Taako because she is even harder to find than Taako. There is literally nothing except the fact that she died in some cave near Neverwinter. There are literally no souls in that cave, and he checked. Twice. So where the hell is she? Who the hell knows. Who even cares.

Davenport, nine deaths. Is somehow just as elusive as anyone else. Because these people hate Kravitz. Kravitz checks everywhere. A few merchants in Neverwinter remember having met a guy named Davenport a few years back, and he seemed pretty cool, and he bought a can of soup once. Great. THANK YOU MERCHANT MAN. SO VERY HELPFUL.

Barry J Bluejeans, twelve deaths. Barry fucking Bluejeans. BARRY GODDAMN JAY GODDAMN BLUEJEANS. Kravitz has no end of words for this asshole. Unlike the others, Kravitz has met this guy. He has no idea what goddamn class Barry is other than a magic-user because WHAT SPELLS DOESN’T THIS GUY KNOW GODDAMN IT. Oh oh oh and get this, he’s fueled by the power of love. Love. As if a normal lich isn’t annoying enough to deal with, but this guy apparently refuses to leave without his wife. A wife who, COINCIDENTALLY, has the name of LUP. And Kravitz knows. He goddamn knows, in the depths of his heart, that this Lup is the exact same one as Lup Taaco. BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE HATES HIM.

Lucretia, ten deaths. Somehow even worse than Taako, Davenport and Lup combined. Because he has nothing on her. At all. No class, no god, no spell-list, no ANYTHING. Alright. Fine. Detective Kravitz time. Her name is spoken very very rarely, and she is apparently the leader of some mysterious organization called a Bureau? Fine. Where is this Bureau. What’s that? It’s hidden? You can only summon a way there if you’re a member? Of course. Obviously. Wonderful. Why not. Cool. Great.

So now. Let’s advance to the start of the story. Kravitz is called out to investigate Phandalin. He arrives, and is immediately hit by a wave of pure fire. When he wakes up? He sees four figures in the distance. And three of them are Magnus. And Merle. And Taako. And Kravitz is about to fight them, when a goddamn orb appears from the sky and carries them to a goDDAMN SKY BASE WHAT THE HELL I HATE THESE PEOPLE

And then he finally meets these people by complete chance in the lab of Lucas Miller. And he is so happy. Because for the first time in six years, he has THREE OF THESE JACKASSES in front of him. There is no possible way they can escape this.

Guess what happens next.

So now, finally, let’s advance to post-Story & Song. And he has all seven of these assholes in front of him. Defenseless. He could reap their asses right now. But he can’t. Because the Raven Queen has declared they’ve earned a pardon.

A few hours after the celebration party, Kravitz warps back to his office and screams for a solid hour.

EDIT: Somebody mentioned the whole Barry dies like twenty times over the course of a decade so now I have to establish that at least five of those were Barry staring Kravitz dead in the face, killing himself instantly and rising out of his body as a lich. Just so that Kravitz can know EXACTLY how petty Barry Bluejeans will be.

(via taibhsearachd)

theglowqueen:

Matt Mercer as DM: “You bisect the enemy, spilling it’s entrails across the floor. You bathe in its blood as you hear the pieces of its body hit the floor with a wet squelch behind you *makes squelching noise*”

Griffin McElroy as DM: “And then you just cut the dang thing in half. Are you happy? You literally cannot ‘non-lethally’ cut something in half. It’s super dead now”

(via taibhsearachd)

lucretia-the-director:

What if Lucretia were just as dog crazy as Magnus?

What if “No dogs on the moon” was a poorly timed addition to a century long joke?

“No dogs in my lab, Lucretia.”

“No dogs near my plants, Magnus.”

“No dogs in my kitchen, Lucretia.”

“How did that dog even get there, Magnus?! I can’t believe “no dogs in the air vents” is a phrase that is actually coming out of my mouth.“

“Magnus. Lucretia. No dogs on the Starblaster. Period.”

“No dogs while we’re looking for the light.”

“For Pan’s sake, no dogs while we’re trying to be sneaky!”

What if someone asked, in the early days of the BoB, if they could bring their dog with them and Lucretia reflexively said “no dogs on the moon” and instantly regretted it because oh shit, I’m in charge and people actually do what I say.

And she’s just so upset because she was joking and everyone took her seriously and she can’t take it back because it would be unprofessional and now there will never be any dogs on the moon.

(via dog-of-ulthar)