Remember. If you’re a jerk, people won’t want to play against you. And if you have nobody to play against, Magic isn’t very fun. True, it’ll probably never get to the point where everyone knows your MTGO name, your LGS, etc, but why let it even start down that road at all?
You might not be able to please everyone, but you don’t (typically) need to be a jerk to anyone. Magic is a community. Don’t make your part of it toxic.
One of the most important parts of mastering a skill is learning how to teach it to others effectively.
That is an excellent example of the distinction between good and bad players.
I got into Magic way back in the dawn of time when it first started. I had poured way too much money into it, and when I finally got out, I sold my complete set of 1st edition, and Arabian Nights for a hefty sum and used that money to get the hell out of dodge and try to find myself in Florida (it didn’t work.)
When I finally came back to Magic, it’d been several years and may different iterations and expansions of the game had gone by. I was at the local game store, just kind of hanging out, when a group of people were trying to get a game of Emperor (I think that’s what it was called) going and they were looking for one final person. I said, sure, provided that they understand that a) It’d been at least five years since I last played and b) they’d have to provide me with a deck.
Everybody seemed to be on board with this so I sat down and proceeded to play. Things went okay for the first couple of turns, until I drew a card that had an ability that I didn’t recognize, and that wasn’t explained on the card. So I leaned over to my partner and asked him what the ability mean.
The leader of the other team (the Emperor?) just slams his fists on the table and just yells at me, face beet red, “NO KIBBUTZING AT THE TABLE!!!” I’m like, “Dude, chill I’m just trying to figure out what this card doe-” “NO KIBBUTZING!”
So I just quietly nod, reassemble the deck and give it back to the guy who lent it to me. I thank him for letting me play, give the finger to the dude with anger management issues, and I haven’t picked up a physical copy of the game since. Sure there’s good players out there, but sometimes all it takes is that one asshat to ruin it completely for you.
There are a couple of ways a dwarf may show they are gender fluid
Rebraiding their beard more frequently than the once-a-season average (high maintenance, but effective if the dwarf tends to stay within an aspect of the trinary for long periods of time)
Using smaller braids to create one larger braid (using a 3-strand braid and a 4-strand braid to make a 2-strand twist, for example). The overall shape of the primary braid denotes pronoun preference. This was originally a style that trans Dwarves created, but it is easily adapted to more fluid genders.
Using a non-standard 5-strand braid or a Fishtail braid as the Primary Braid (an uncommon braid form is Dwarven shorthand for “Ask my pronouns,” this could be because they change a lot or they wish to use an uncommon form like “ze”).
Maintaining no primary braid for an extended period of time (traditionally this means a dwarf is in a transitional period of life and should be referred to as “they” but some may choose to take on that identity indefinitely)
If a dwarf changes their beard, everyone must respect that change! Failing to call another dwarf by their correct pronoun is a huge embarrassment in dwarven society because it shows you do not value others and also you have poor observational skills (a la “don’t you have eyes clearly Korrin is enby how dare you call them a “he” look at their beard! Their gender is as plain as the beard on their face!”).
OKAY SO PEOPLE WANTED TO KNOW SO I DID MY BEST TO REWRITE IT!
(I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE I AM VERY TIRED AND THIS IS A LOT OF TEXT.)
My HC for Dwarf Beards and Gender Presentation
So the first thing you need to know is the average dwarf will have a primary braid and a secondary pair of braids to either side of it. These two sets of braids denote different things so
Primary Braid
The Primary Braid is the large braid down the center of the beard. Traditionally there are three recognized genders in Dwarven Society, though they do acknowledge an individual’s desire to express themselves in new ways. A traditional 3-strand braid denotes male preferred pronouns, a 4-strand braid denotes female preferred pronouns, and a 2-strand twist denotes a non-binary dwarf with gender-neutral pronouns. These are entirely based on gender expression and not related to sex or genitalia of the dwarf, which is considered a private matter that matters to no one but the dwarf and their mate.
It is possible for a dwarf not to have a primary braid, but this style is considered a time of transition or change in a dwarf’s life, and gender-neutral pronouns should be used until otherwise stated. Some dwarves cut off their primary braid when moving away from their home so as to reevaluate and reinvent themselves in their new residence, but it is not something all dwarves do.
The majority of dwarves use he/him pronouns outside of all-dwarven societies due to gender stigma against female presenting dwarves by other species, but in an all-dwarven society the mix of genders will be fairly even.
To save timelines I put the rest under the cut, but I talk about more below!
I have a 4 year old I run short 15-20 minute ‘D&D’ games for. I thought some of you may find how I run these games interesting so here ya go…
The Player Character
The player can play any kind of character. They could be a weird LEGO barbarian, a squirting bath time turtle, or a broken clown doll named Zulu (my kid has issues) they all are viable given the simplicity of the rules.
Every character starts with 3 stress counters at the beginning of each session.
The Rules
To succeed at a task the player must roll a d6 and roll equal to or greater than:
DC 2-easy
DC 3- average
DC 4-hard
In non combat encounter, if a player fails a roll they can spend 1 stress to reroll and decrease the DC by 1.
Ex:
‘Can I convince the ogre to be my friend by making him a pie?’
‘Absolutely! You need a 3 or better.’
‘I got a 1… *hands over a stress* can I put whip cream on it and try again?’
‘Yes you can. You now need a 2 or better.’
‘A 6!’
‘Congrats the ogre loves the pie and thinks of you as a sister!’
In a combat encounter the players are either attacking a foe or dodging a baddie’s attack (the story teller never rolls dice, just the kids). Always assume the players go first in most circumstances.
If the player is hit by a baddie’s Attack they lose 1 stress. If the character has no more stress the baddie wins that fight and the story progresses in a natural way.
Minions lose after 1 hit, and to dodge their attacks or hit them is DC 2. (If there are no villains accompanying the minions you can increase their to hit DC to 3)
Villains lose after 2 hits, and to dodge their attacks or hit them is DC 3. (The villain can escape instead of being defeated for plot purposes if necessary)
Ex:
‘I rolled 2 to zap the goblin with my rainbow laser gun!’
‘You missed. The goblin screeches loudly at you trying to make your ears pop. Roll a 2 or better to protect your ears.’
‘I rolled a 4! I filled my ears with Cotten. Can I try to zap it again?’
‘Sure, you still need a 3 or better.’
‘5! I rainbow blast it!’
‘He is blinded by your radiance, runs into a wall, and knocks itself out.’
The party, pointing to an NPC that the DM never intended to be a recurring character: That’s My Child Now
@caffeinatedwriters Now you gotta write them a quest where they get the chance to bring him back!!
The first dungeon-boss that my group was meant to just quickly kill at the end of their very first session, they saved from death. Repeatedly. She’s now a reoccurring character who despite the fact that she is defs evil and showing no signs of redemption (yet) they keep. Saving?? So I guess I’d better write a redemption arc?
I love your players so much. I’m imagining Local Villain turning good mainly out of confusion because why they save me tho????
We’ve adopted our first small villain to the party as a DMPC. During the interrogation he suddenly bursts into tears, says the villaining was his last desperate try to unfuck his life and now we can do whatever we want with him, cause he’s done. He’s out of ideas and his life is still fucked up. The whole party went all “aaaaww there there pat pat poor thing” and now he’s our token pretty boy and an in-game DM’s snarky voice.
We found a 20 ft cube of gelatinous acid in the underdark. He wanted to see sunlight. He was perfect. So he became part of our party. He’s slow so he always follows behind us and every now and again he has a few new skeletons inside of him of the fools that tried to sneak up behind us. He’s my favorite.
I love this. I support you and your sun-loving acid dog
since i’m dming a modern-era homebrew i needed to come up w a better fitting equivalent to the ~potion seller~ so i made up this little 24hr roadside diner with a numbered menu of things you’d find in a regular diner, but are all basically just renamed potions/statboosters, (hamburger is health, coke is darkvision, fries are speedboost, etc etc), plus a ‘daily special’ that can be whatever i want, like a quest item or something to help them when they’re stuck, or anything i think of that might be cool, and you roll to get something.
plus it’s a nice way to include some npc interactions bc the majority of our gameplay takes place in uninhabited swampland, and you can only have so much fun as a dm when your speaking time is reduced to “no you can’t roll to fuck that”, swamp-related wordpictures, and alligator noises.
HOWEVER, one of my players simply cannot fucking roll anything but the same goddamn number every. mcfreakin’. time., so we had to invent a cooler to hold all the fucking milkshakes (-speed, +strength) she keeps fucking ordering by accident
Clerics/Paladins: My magic was blessed upon me by the almighty god which I worship so that I may do good upon this world
Wizards: I have studied ancient tomes for years and learned from the greatest magic users in the world in order to understand the arcane. I can manipulate the world to bend it to my whim
Sorcerers: I’m just fuckin’ good, baby
#Bards: I shreaded on my lute so hard that someone fucking died#Warlocks: I had a dream and a devil told me he’d give me superpowers and I said ‘hell yea’
#Druids: You ever look at plants? Like I mean really, really look at them? Like, that’s some Wild shit, there. They’re like us, but not like us? Anyways yeah so I can turn into a bear now.
Dm: Roll damage I guess
Player: no in the heart.
Dm: you are actually doing this?
Player: yeah
Dm: you die. Roll your death saves
Player: wait what?
Dm: I don’t know what you expected
Don't give up. Unless you have to for a little while. Then don't panic. CONTAINS: Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, Critical Role, History, Current Affairs, Space, Cats, and Etc. Adult.
