prokopetz:

Some day I want to see a Captain Kirk parody that leans hard into his original flavour “hapless romance novel protagonist who keeps ending up in sexually compromising situations with hot aliens more or less by accident” characterisation rather than the “grotesque womaniser” shtick of later interpretations and has him just constantly tormented by the fact that every single alien he meets wants to rail him.

(via specificfuckery)

textsfromstarfleet:

dilfsisko:

Hate when people are always trying to start shit like ‘yeah well I saw you in the Romulan Neutral zone!’

bitch…..what were you doing in the Romulan Neutral Zone?

(via saint-batrick)

nucleartourist:

the thing about william shatner being pissed about the concept of bi!kirk is so funny to me because like. bill this is your fault. you were the one who looked at leonard nimoy like you wanted to eat him. you did that

(via nudityandnerdery)

aprillasaurus asked:

“James Tiberius Kirk has never seen a salad before and in fact has no idea what a salad even is” is such a GODTIER TAKE thank you for your service

therobotmonster:

onesmallenby:

gar-trek:

I’m just reporting the facts! 

and since this is actually the most important part of the TOS food document, I’ll reiterate the theory here for those who don’t wanna read the whole thing: 

I think kirk just kinda tried to play it cool after he realized everyone knew what salad was but him, but really eating it with hands is a dead give away (especially considering we have seen him eat his colored food cubes WITH A FORK AND KNIFE) 

i am losing my MIND at how he’s holding the lettuce leaf like a cigar

I think people are greatly underestimating how far James T Kirk will go to fuck with his crew.

There’s exactly one person in the universe that can make James T Kirk do something. There’s a lot of people who can convince him to do things, encourage him to do things, trick him into doing things, sure, but the only one who can make him do anything is Bones. 

If Kirk is eating salad, it’s because Bones is making him.do it because the ultimate authority of the ship’s doctor is the only starfleet regulation that Kirk will not break. So when Bones puts him on a diet, he can’t say “no.” The Kirk/Spock/McCoy relationship is a rock/scissors/paper situation, essentially. 

So Kirk asks himself “What would Spock do in this situation?” and the answer is obviously “pretend you’ve never heard of the Earth-thing in question, play it 100% straight, and wait for McCoy’s head to explode.” He’s going to pretend he’s never heard of salad, and eat his lettuce like a cigar in front of McCoy’s face. 

This is malicious compliance.

mylittleredgirl:

starrybouquet:

hotgirlgarak:

sorry for all the enterprise posts, truly, but i think i’ve finally figured it out:

Sure but Voyager is p horny ngl

gotta cosign op’s stance here because in all star trek there are Horny Episodes, but horniness is really built into the fundamental ethos of ds9 (quark’s holosuites and gambling emporium) and enterprise (decon chamber of gratuitous nakedness). like i could sleep through just one episode a season of tng and not know how horny it was, but in ds9 like… kira goes to a religious monastery and the gods reveal unto her a naked sex dream, so there’s truly no escaping it.

(via ekjohnston)

techno-poet:

conceptadecency:

It annoys me how a common trope on Star Trek is ‘tee hee, I’m a workaholic, I have twenty stardates of leave saved up because I never take a break’ and that’s supposed to be something we admire. Take a holiday, idiot. Especially if you’re the boss. Set a fucking example. It’s the future now and you’re better than this toxic shit. 

(via adelphicoracle)

New meme:

mother-entropy:

cumaeansibyl:

arctic-hands:

tomvorikandharry:

thenorsiest:

chris—-h:

mayleavestars:

benjameme-sisko:

snapehateblog:

plant-dad-sulu:

foxy-mulder:

spaceforspirk:

cantanopeshitthatwastaken:

futurestarfleetcaptain:

boldly-yo:

just describe the plot of any star trek episode so that it’ll look like a shitpost

If you go too fast, you turn into a lizard

it’s offensive to let your dog pee on a tree

spock gets so high he almost becomes straight

Small furries will eat you and your ship

What happens to this one (1) Vulcan man’s brain will blow your mind

You can’t die in the wild west unless ur really feelin it

Just when you think you’ve evaded all of humanity, out of the corner of your eye you see her, Amelia Earhart

If everyone disappears, you’re likely to be trapped in your son’s science experiment.

If you die in the game, you do not die in real life.

area man fucks around in a desert, unearths his mom’s face

two bros rolling in the sand groping each other cause theyre not gay

Convincing boss to go LARPing in another dimension

awkward virgin himbo accidentally infects his boss/crush with violent horny disease (which is actually totally normal for his people)

Professor Moriarty (yes that one) takes over a spaceship with his gf

METAPHOR

::wheeze::

Angry Young Woman Destroys Garden To Make Way For Gentrification

(via saint-batrick)