dsmp characters as my attempt at pjo-esque chapter titles

technoblade - i've forsaken god and now people hate me for being right

dream - i don't want to gatekeep, girlboss, and gaslight my way out of this anymore

wilbur - is blowing up a country really an overreaction?

philza - why you shouldn't become an immortal: a persuasive essay

ranboo - it's not a war crime if you don't remember it

tubbo - it's not a war crime if you don't acknowledge the geneva convention

schlatt - becoming a landlord is the only goal anyone should have in life

quackity - my fiancé was an alcoholic so now i torture people

fundy - my dad left to get milk from the store when i was five and i haven't seen him since

tommy - hey google is it possible for a human being to hibernate

niki - i am tired of being nice and i will go apeshit

jack manifold - if death shows up at your front porch, slam the door in their face

george - my best friend got replaced by a god