okay BUT:
AU where Phil is just A Dude, a powerful, crazy, kind of murder happy Dude who off and on trades with this piglin village or whatever. Saved them from another player or from a raid from other Piglins that would have wiped them out, Something, not important.
What is important is that the piglins now believe that he is a God and so they’re like “how do you show grattitude to the gods? SACRIFICE! :D” and so they’re going to offer bby!Techno to Phil, “The Blood God"
and Phil is like ????????????? what ARE you doing with that CHILD and a LAVA PIT
and the piglin are like “oh how presumptuous, of course the The Blood God can kill his own sacrifices, forgive us, here you are sir, enjoy.
and now Phil Has in his possesion An Entire Child and he’s So Goddamn Confused but he unties the kid and is like “alright…? uh….?? good luck bro??”
but Baby Techno is like “The God Of Death Has Chosen To Spare Me, I Will Serve Him For As Long As He Decides That My Life Shall Last”
and neither Phil nor the piglins speak the same language
Better Plan: Phil’s narration always says He Is A Normal Man but he can do all of this Impossible Magic that maybe Normal People can’t
and in Techno’s POV he always talks about how Phil has An Aura of Dread or Power around him and when things are quiet enough around him you can almost hear the rustle and call of a thousand crows, just at the edge of your senses and sometimes his eyes gleam in a way no Normal Man’s would