one of the funniest things about little kids is something I call the “stranger advantage” and this follows the observation that when a child is throwing a tantrum, overwhelmed, bored, upset, etc. in public and won’t cooperate with their parents, sometimes, for some reason, a stranger intervening (with the parent’s permission) can interest and distract a child into calming down.
It doesn’t ALWAYS work, especially with children who are extremely intimidated by strangers, but more often than not when I’ve seen a kid just absolutely melting down in public, I’ve asked if I can talk to them and help, and pretty much every time the kid’s calmed down. THEY DO SAY it takes a village. Maybe because I haven’t been responsible for them all day I’m able to be a bit more calm than the now overwhelmed parent. Maybe being autistic myself has given me some tools to help children having meltdowns that their parents haven’t learned yet. Maybe children are so naturally curious that a new player on the scene distracts them from whatever’s upsetting them.
I THINK sometimes they’re just confused and mystified.
Notably I love thinking about the time in Chicago my friends and I came across a child in absolute fits about walking up some steps to get to the next street level. He would not budge, it was 9 PM, and it was clear he AND his dad were at their emotional limit.
So my friends and I walked up and looked at him and sort of HOPPED upward onto the stairs and we acted really surprised and amazed and we were like “Woah!” And We did it again each step until he quickly noticed and started watching us. I looked at him and I was like “man…….have you tried this? This is wild.”
So now he figured he was missing out on climbing the stairs. So he joined in. And we just hopped up the steps acting OVERLY amazed by the process until we got to the top and his exhausted dad thanked us.
Stranger advantage.
it really is just
parent: please do this thing
child: i am overwhelmed. i cannot and will not.
random passerby: please do this thing
child: actually i’ve never thought of it that way. alright i’m in.
(via bethanyactually)
