greek gods as reductress headlines
zeus: Sex Positivity Win! This Guy Is Horny
hera: I’m Sorry I Was Being So Crazy While You Were Treating Me Like Shit
poseidon: Horse Girl Longs For Sun On Her Haunches Again
hades: How to Get Him To Treat You Half As Well As He Treats His Dog
demeter: Forlorn Gazing Out Window Reaches Record High
persephone: I’m Not Like Other Girls. I’m Much, Much Worse.
dionysus: BREAKING: We’re Doing Shots
hermes: How to Achieve Personal Growth When All Your Flaws Are Adorable
apollo: How to Find Love but Then Promptly Fuck It Up
artemis: It’s a Scary Time For Men In America Because I’m Dressed In a Clown Suit, Taking Them Out One By One
athena: Women Need to Stop Being So Passive-Aggressive and Start Dueling
aphrodite: Oh No! Woman Knows Exactly How Beautiful She Is
hephaestus: How to Balance Your Career and a Weird Dating Thing
ares: Go Out There And Slay! Here Are Some Murder Weapons
hestia: 5 Sexual Fantasies That Are You Getting a Good Night Sleep For Fucking Once
