Body language is completely unique to every single individual person and the science of body language is almost if not completely unreliable and if I have to listen to one more person claim they can “read” me by my body language I’m gonna flip.
MULTIPLE people in my life have told me they can “tell” I’m “self conscious” because I look at my feet when I walk and they say it like they want me to open up about some social insecurities, like I have some wall they’re about to break down and we’ll have a moment
And I tell them the same truth every single time:
As a kid we had two MASSIVE Holly trees in the backyard and my dad and my uncle, both well meaning but perhaps poor planners, said “yes a great place for a swing set is directly beneath those.”
So they built it there and the issue is that entire section of yard was a Minefield of dried Holly leaves with one final mission before they became dirt which was to Stab themselves into a child’s foot
And being that my siblings and I had some feral rage aversion to wearing shoes, we took to running to the swings on our tiptoes, staring at the ground for the leaves
And to this DAY I still look at the ground when I walk out of habit formed by a decade of that
And NO body language guide and NO BBC Sherlock wannabe would EVER source that
“I can tell you’re lying because you’re playing with your hair.”
I’m playing with my hair because I have ADHD and can’t stay still.
“I can tell you’re lying because you’re looking up and to the side.”
I’m looking up and to the side because I have ADHD and can’t hear you if I’m looking directly at you.
“I can tell…”
shut up shut up shut up shut up
Also note that this is EXACTLY part of what causes neurodivergent people to be targeted by cops more often (particularly neurodivergent people of color).
A huge part of body language in police work is based in assumptions about body language that neurodivergent people do not actually typically follow. They read our normal movements as “signs” that we’re guilty and they roll with it without questioning whether or not they’re just biased with their own pre-existing expectations of what not-guilty people act like. They base their “signs that someone’s guilty” explicitly off of normal habits and behaviors of disabled and neurodivergent people.
That’s dangerous and it’s especially dangerous for disabled & neurodivergent POC and people with more obvious atypical tics & behaviors.
And, related to the above, all the behaviors said to be “tells” of liars are in fact signs of ANXIETY.
You know, such as many neurodivergent people feel in social interactions, but also abuse victims, for example.
We’re not nervous because we’re lying. We’re nervous because we know damn well that whether or not we’re telling the truth we may still get yelled at or blamed for shit we didn’t do.
Y’all be safe playing among us. I now its a social game but like don’t give out your name or what school you go to. Like I’m sure people might Not track you down using that information but im 23 years old and I grew up during a time were they made us fear strangers and putting information online.
For my followers that play Among Us, PLEASE watch out for people like that. If ANYONE you don’t know asks you about your age/where you live/go to school, that’s a red flag. Please be careful, candy call people out if you see them doing this shit.
I was in a lobby where someone admitted they were a 16 year old girl and everyone kept asking her for her phone number, her instagram, etc and i got kicked because i kept telling people that it was creepy and they should stop. Seriously do not share anything like that on public servers, especially if youre an underage girl
To illustrate how big a deal this is, outside of people getting harassed online, if someone has your phone number, they can track down where you live. If someone has your instagram, they can use it figure out where you live if youre not careful. Ive had do exactly this a couple times so i could send something to the right address. Do not give strangers your social media. Do not give them your age. Do not give them any identifying information.
Also! A tactic that was very popular Back In The Day but gen z doesn’t seem to indulge in as much:
Lie!
Whether it’s to some creeper asking too many questions or just some random website you’re signing up for… you can lie, kids. While obviously it’s great to not respond to weirdos seeking your personal information, there are times that for various reasons it’s difficult to avoid giving out any info entirely. So just bullshit. Name, age, gender, location, whatever you want. Just lie about it.
You are not beholden to an honor code with strangers or random websites on the internet. Just fake whatever. It’s not only completely fine, it is many times more advantageous for you in the long run (not only in dodging creeps, but it helps keep your IRL info and online info separate). You can pick and choose w/e online friends you want to be honest with, but signing up for social media or being asked invasive questions by a stranger? Just fuckin make shit up.
Literally lying about your age or location or whatever was so common online 15+ years ago, so that it wasn’t just anyone who could find out your actual private information. Revive this practice.
i was a college age man from texas to anyone who asked from ages 13-17. i had a roommate who annoyed me by leaving his spaghetti out but we both liked naruto. i was studying computers. i had dramatic confessions to online friends which were emotionally fraught except for the time someone was like ‘yeah i knew you were a teenage girl the whole time, no one has that much homoeroticism with their fake roommate’ and i felt like a fool
anyway just lie to people on the internet, it’s the smart and safe and also fun thing to do
